BOUNDARIES

Merrian Webster defines a boundary as " something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent "


Life is full of metaphors. As a Certified Feng Shui Consultant, I am trained to see, feel, and hear the metaphors in any environment. What is this room trying to tell me? What does this house say? How does the energy of the land feel? What's the message? Our environs are simply a reflection of what is going on within ourselves. Walk into any party, past any establishment, or pull into a driveway, if I utilize my keen skills of observation, silent intuition; there's the answer. Anyone can do this. Once you learn how to navigate in this manner, life becomes easier. If we are still enough to absorb, and can find that place of awareness inside of ourselves, we go with the flow of life instead of against it. We get what we need to know in the moment. Kind of like listening to your body, but that's another story.

So, as I look around my house, my property, I begin to get a sense of blurred boundary lines. What am I supposed to be getting here? These goings on I observe are cues to my subconcious to take note of the message "boundaries" as it is applicable to my life. It says " pay attention, there is something here for you."

"Fences make good neighbors" they say. We are five, living in one small house. We share our house with three dogs, three cats, two hamsters and a guinea pig. That's indoors. Outdoors we have seven pygmy goats and 14 chickens. Peculiar things are going on, as I begin to take note that: Four of our goats are wandering the lawn in search or tasty trees at precisely 4pm every day. They've broken out of goat jail and hopped the fence - that has been trampled down by snow all winter. The other three have not figured it out. I call them the "brothers four" as they saunter up and down the snowy lawn in ganglike formation. First to wreck more of my big pine tree at the corner of the ice rink, then to peel bark from the sumacs. Next up on my front porch looking for a free handout. It is Spring, we still have snow; they are restless and in search of fresh grass. They leave Cocoa Puff trails everywhere. Magically, by nightfall; they end up back inside the barnyard. Whatever you read about goats is true, they hop fences and eat anything. Cunning little devils.

Winter has left us with lots of fencing to fix if Spring will ever get here. The boundaries between dogs and goats has become blurred. There is a hole between the dog yard and the barnyard. the dogs commune with the goats on the goat side and become one herd: dogs eating Cocoa Puffs and leftover grain. (Dogs, like goats, will eat anything left to their own devices) The goats visit the dogyard and nibble on the bark on the more tree filled dog side, and chew the roofing off the doghouse.

Bindi my Boston Terrier has give up her "little bed" to sleep in the big dog beds, or human beds. Barn swallows have taken up housekeeping in the pole barn where we park our cars and poop on the roof of the Volvo. Cats have taken over the dining room chairs. Doesn't matter which one, it's the one I want to sit in that moment.

Kidstuff is everywhere. Everywhere it doesn't belong ( after I have spent years anally organizing boxes with labels, drawers with slots, bins with names and a set of hooks for each in the mudroom) Hayley has grown to fit into MY shoes now as they disappear, Croc by Clog, Shoe by Boot. She "borrows" my Clinique Happy perfume. I know she wants to smell like Mom but............it's MINE! Where's the boundary?

Megan who now has pierced ears, frequents my earring collection. My sterling and peridot pair disappeared on St. Patricks Day. Did it occur to anyone that I might like to wear green that day? In its place she left a pair of guitar earrings on MY dresser.

Garrett and his musical equipment has taken over. I have created a nice area in the basement for his "stuff" ( half dozen guitars, 4 amps, keyboard, microphone) yet it still migrates. Picks. Guitar picks. Everywhere. I created a "pick pot" for him.......a place to centralize all of these picks that float around the house like cosmic dust - but somehow the pickpot is empty. The bottom of the washer has the picks. So does the dryer, the couch cushions, the floor and I even found two down at the grove wedged into the seat of a summer lawn chair that had been buried under snow since fall.

Boundaries.

What does it all mean? My environment is nudging me, giving me a wake up call if you will, to take a look at the roll of boundaries in my life. It really is not about animal fencing or scattered picks, or the invasion of personal space. It is about my internal set of boundaries. How much is enough? How far do I go? When is a good stopping point? How much flack are you going to take from that person? Where do you draw the line and keep your personal integrity? Is this my issue to take care of or theirs? Where do I stop and the other person begins?

I have never been too good at boundaries. I'm an all or nothing girl. I tend to do too much, and rush in to take care of someone else's drama. I find it hard to stop what I am doing if I am on a roll....

Drawing the line as a parent: knowing what is good for your child no matter their age. Every day I get better and better at boundaries. Fixing the fences inside myself. Erecting new ones. Taking better care of myself and knowing when to stop pushing - a chore or a conversation. It's a process. I use the metaphor of the fencing for this in my mind as a tool to keep me on course.

Respect toward self and others is a boundary, one we are working on in our house. Space, possessions, language. Living in community , in this case a family of five; requires good boundaries. I suppose fences make good families too, so long as there are gates between the fences so we have the opportunity to be in each others lives, and at the same time be mindful of healthy boundaries.

Thanks to the goddess and my animals, who teach me so much.